Is it hazing or an initiation rite?

With all the news focus on the Miami Dolphins and whether or not someone who is the size of a barn can get bullied, it seems that there is a much bigger picture issue than what the 24-hour news cycle is willing to consider.  What is hazing?  What does it mean to become an adult in today's society?  What does it mean to be able to stand up for yourself?  At what point did traditional initiation rites transform into a method of exerting perceived power over someone else?

When you hear the term hazing, most times you think of college fraternities and sororities entrance requirements - eating strange things, sleep deprivation, alcohol binging, kidnapping in the middle of the night and dropping them somewhere without access to money, phones, etc.  Or maybe you have a memory of the movie "Animal House" with pledges in their civies saying, "Thank you sir, may I have another?". 

While these rituals of membership seem bizarre and ridiculous to outsiders, the goal is to put value on being part of the club. "Membership has its privileges" is a term we have come to accept.  And in order to be privileged, you have to pass some sort of test to see if you are worthy of membership. When did "membership" or transition to adulthood become a rite of abuse and torture, demeaning someone's sense of place in the community and their sense of self-worth?  Who gets to be judge, jury and executioner?

In the past, and I mean way in the past, initiation rites were all about survival tests.  In order to be an adult, you needed to take a stand, perform a test or partake in a ritual that was what the community defined as necessary to transition from adolescence to adulthood.  In the absence of withstanding physical and physcological tests and the abdication of adults taking responsibility to properly prepare their children for adulthood, the void is filled by groups or individuals no better than street gangs at every strata in our society.  When the self-appointed ones in charge get afraid that they could lose their status and power, the bar gets raised.  How many times are the tasks required for membership beyond what the current members had to endure?  Where is true mentorship among peers?

Are we so powerless that we have to resort to putting someone else down versus raising them up so that they too can be successful? Have we become so much of a 'me' society that we will step on whoever is in our way just to feel better about ourselves?

So here is the challenge. It's pretty simple. Be the adult. Be selfless. Think community first. Be curious. Be a mentor in your daily life. Be a leader. Can it be hard? Hell yes. Since when are we supposed to be afraid of hard work.